Extravagant Weddings



Glamorous dresses, tuxedos, delicious food and unnecessary up and down, back and forth; coupled with lack of sleep and more than usual mental exertion—that's how the last three days were. It was my cousin's wedding after all, and the doting brother that I am, I had to be present there. 

I hadn't taken any books for company, nor my laptop to compose any blog posts, also the commotion there made it difficult to clear my mind and channel my thoughts. I'm quite alive though, and the blog's surely gonna see some more posts coming up sooner than ever. It's the 21st of April today, 12:45 pm as I'm typing this on my phone, we're in a red spec on the expressway, heading for home. The sun's blazing hot; it's his time of the year to shine as bright as he feels like. Thankfully, the car is quite cold and comfortable inside, so we're not quite baked potatoes yet.

I'm personally not into weddings. Not at all. And by that, I don't mean to say I'm against people having weddings, No! That's not what I implied. I have nothing against that. That's their decision and it's all up to them. However, what I don't like is certain inevitable visuals attached to the wedding celebrations. 

Huge halls are booked, themed sets are constructed, various activities and others events are planned, exotic food is available in abundance—all of which requires a tremendous amount of money, which could have seen better utilisation. The money that is shelled off towards wedding programs can see much better use. I can think of so many better things I could have done with that money, instead of adding more extravagance to the wedding. Of course, there are people who can afford, it's not that of a major financial drain for them but each parent wants their child's wedding to be the best one, with all the glitter, glamour and throwing such pompous a wedding for many means taking loans, selling jewellery, plots, other assets—which isn't great at all for them. It's a huge financial drain and can cause financial issues for a fairly long term.

One of the factors is: Wanting to have a wonderful wedding bash while the other is the social expectation, which is a major one. You've been to many grandiose wedding parties and celebrations thrown by someone from your friend circle, or relatives and that sets up a standard in the heads of many—to have such grand and expensive celebrations, not keeping in mind any budget. Also, relatives half expect every other wedding bashes to be such exotic. And you wish that your child's wedding be as grand as some of them, if not grander.


I've seen many themed wedding sets. The road to my class used to pass by a ground which would always host such grand weddings. Those weddings were truly exceptional. Not that I'd walk into random weddings, instead of attending my class, but I did observe these things. Each one hosted there had a unique set, several hundred guest appearances, other events and abundant food. I always had this thought stuck somewhere in my head—these weddings cost a LOT— a number, hard for me to imagine.

Every time I'd pass the wedding ground, there was always something else to see. The beauteous set would surely stand out and be so eye catchy that maybe everyone else failed to see what I always did, something which hurt me. It's not an obscure fact that tremendous food is wasted during weddings and just around the corner of this ground, along the footpath stayed a family of homeless people, starving for, who knows how long.

Somewhere in that brightly glowing rich set, a small patch of it had extreme hunger, emasculated bodies and suffering—something hard to ignore but quite unlike the sight within the sets where the guests enjoyed world-class food, with their improvident tight tuxedos and protruding bellies. a place where food wasn't as such valued and a lot of it wasted. 

Why have so extravagant weddings? Why not have minimal but decent weddings and all the money you save, goes to feed the ones starving. Why do people have money to spend this way, but no money to feed the poor? Why will people somehow gather money for extravagant weddings by any possible means but yet when it comes to feeding the poor they probably are too broke to afford that? Why not have simple weddings and the excessive money left goes to a good cause?

Don't you still see the issue?

I don't think I'm going to marry anytime soon. Surely, I'm a little young but I'm not interested too. Even if someday I might want to get married, I won't have an extravagant celebration. I would keep it decent and simple. I'm an atheist, so yes; I'm not having any rituals too. I'll have only close people and some good food. I don't feel it is necessary to call relatives far and wide and try to appease them. This wedding won't be for them to pop their eyes out due to the grand wedding bash. It will be for me and for people I'm close with to celebrate the bond me and my partner would have now concreted.

Instead of opting for a wedding set, musicians, anchors and other events, I'd rather take my close friends and relatives to a nice hotel, maybe book a party hall there, have good music playing by and fun games to play together. The money I would save by this alternative would go for a good cause—feeding the starving, helping research for various causes, and maybe funding a poor child's education. There are a lot many things that can be done with the saved money, and somewhere in my chest, I'll also feel a lot better.

Also, regarding wasted food, I don't really understand why. I do not waste at all but I know and have seen people who do. Weddings often have buffets and people will just stuff their plates with everything they possibly can and when they're done, everything remaining is ditched along with the plate—going not into any hungry stomach but mostly into the dustbin.


When I go to buffets, I know for one, that I won't be able to eat a lot of everything and for the second? I won't like each food item. After grabbing my plate, I will fill my plate with little of everything—just little for taste. After going through each item, I'll have a fair idea of what to stuff my stomach with and I know what to avoid. I'll focus on getting the things I liked, that too little—I know if I'll need more, I can get more. In the end, my plate goes all empty with nothing wasted or very little on my end.

There are people who don't have money to fulfil their basic needs and there are also people who have too much of it to indulge in unnecessary extravagance. Cutting out on extravagance, spend your money to brighten up some lives, spread the happiness and joy of your wedding this way. You'll really receive a lot more blessings and wishes this way for your journey ahead together, and you're also bringing joy to someone else's life by sharing yours. Also, somewhere deep within you'll know you've done your job of being a better human being—humanity being something we humans are gradually losing on. Greed, jealousy and other things fatal to the humankind as a whole are filling the cavity, where humanity once used to reside.

Comments

  1. Nice & very practical thoughts..

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  2. I am impressed with your thoughts. I am awaiting more articles from you.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I'm working on getting more things out. Make sure you subscribe to receive email notifications whenever I post something. Good day!

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  3. I am agree with your views but which is one side of it. Our ancestors are very wise, these events are to introduce the new member in the family & grand warm welcome in the family. Also to introduce everyone at once & which is very positive motivation to new family member. If new family member is well versed with every one, it will be very easy to get gel with everyone. I feel you should appreciate this.

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    Replies
    1. Hello,
      Yes, I understand that aspect of it and whatever you are saying is also right. However, the issue I have with weddings is that everyone expects them to be quite extravagant and that puts up a lot of pressure on the shoulders of the parents financing it all. It is, of course a very happy and merry occasion but I tend to think there are inexpensive ways of dealing with the same. In our society, having simple weddings should not be looked down on. Money isn't all people should base everything on. I am aware, that many parents want to have a grand wedding, but at what cost? If that means spending all the money saved over the years, or selling assets and properties, then that isn't worth it.
      And those who have the money to indulge in extravagance, better also indulge in using that money for a good cause.

      Regarding introducing everyone, I have a different perspective on the same. Weddings are quite exhaustive and there are many relatives and friends from far and wide. I think, the socialization becomes very overwhelming. Meeting so many new people all at once! My brain would literally go,"Slow down!" As for me, I am comfortable meeting few new people but I also need some time alone and away from time to time to catch up with myself. Too much socialization in a day seems too draining. Also, the bonds we create will be very superficial. Instead of making countless shallow bonds of acquaintance, I will prefer making few but deeper bonds. That's why I mentioned about only inviting my close friends and relatives, because right after the wedding, they will be the ones my life would revolve around, and my partner would benefit getting to know them on a deeper level—she'll better gel in. Regarding meeting other relatives I hardly meet, that can be done over the years.

      Also, I'd like to mention one little detail about the last wedding I attended—we had a little games round in the end. Relatives and friends came up on the stage to perform something—dancing, singing, acting, etc.. And I think that was the time everyone really seemed to have gotten together. It was inexpensive but surely bonded all of us present together quite well.

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