How to Deal with Problems

A happy, positive and successful person has also had a rough, uncomfortable, problem-ridden and painful life just as an unhappy, negative and unsuccessful person has. Something that sets the former apart from the latter is a slight change in perspective. The problems you have in your life, all those aching moments you would rather want to forget, those dull and dark moments, they're all a normal thing to all of us. We all have a lot of crap to deal with in our lives. One thing that I would tell you is that that crap should never hold you down or hold you back from becoming what you want to become or being who you want to be. You have to use all that crap to build yourself up. Honestly, if you have a lot of problems and there's a lot that's going on in your life right now, then consider yourself lucky. You have an opportunity you would not want to miss. 

You can let all the experiences and lessons, the problems that life offers, build you up instead of break you down. The same problems which can turn someone into an unhappy, negative and unsuccessful person can also turn someone else into a happy, positive and successful person. Let me explain with a better analogy. Think about a math exam. All students solve problems and the problems that fail a student are responsible for making some other student rank first in that test. Life is quite like that. Everyone has their own set of problems, their own set of challenges and their own battle to fight. No one's life is better or worse, no one's problems are better or worse. Life gives everyone their own unique set of problems which can lift them up. Based on your level, you will get your problems. Based on my level, I have been getting my problems. I can't say you have easier problems, just as you can't that I have.

The same problems that are, maybe, breaking you down right now can build you up and help you grow. That's what happy and successful people do. Let me give you an example to explain what I'm trying to say. Let's say I'm a businessman with a failing business. I see money slipping away; I see that I'm losing everything. What would you do in my shoes? How would you deal with this? Would you let yourself slip into depression? Would you let your problems dominate you? Would you let them take away all your power so that all you're left to do is have your palms against your face with helplessness? What will you do? 

Let me present this situation to you in a more left-brained way, without letting any emotional filters affecting my judgement. Whatever that has happened has happened. That can't be changed. All my business ventures failed. I lost my assets and money. I might even be going bankrupt. Okay, think about this: Will worry and thinking over and over change things by any bit? Will regretting business decisions do any good now? Will letting myself slip into dejection help things any little? Absolutely not. If I end up doing all that, then I'll surely get myself mentally screwed up and incapable of making any proper decisions later. The decisions I make in the screwed up state would be heavily influenced by emotions—pain, loss and what not. Consequently, those decisions will likely come out to be the wrong ones, furthering me down the road of depression. I will only get myself trapped in the quicksand and help it gulp me down. 

The better way to deal with this situation would be to allow me to be okay with it—to accept what has happened and to take responsibility for it. To know that things have happened and now any amount of going back and thinking about all the 'what ifs' won't do a thing. Fine. I made the wrong decisions, the wrong choices which lead me to this situation. Now that I'm going through this very bad patch, I have the option to react differently. I have one opportunity to turn my life around with this situation. The catch? It's very tempting to give away my power and slump in depression. I will not spend any time thinking about or regretting things. I will work with one thing in my head—the past can't be changed and will not affect my future if I learn from it and take some action presently. I will see this bad patch as an opportunity to learn from my mistakes and to get over it. Right now, I have admitted that I made the wrong moves. I'm comfortable in the state I'm in and thus, I'm more receptive to learning and seeing things I wouldn't have. I would study the situation and with a very sound mind make decisions ahead which will surely translate into some forward momentum.

This bad patch, I wouldn't see it as a problem and fuss over it, I would rather be happy with the learning experience I'd squeeze out of it. The things I will have learned due to this event will for sure catapult me ahead. The key here isn't to avoid problems or to get upset with it. The slight change in perspective is to welcome challenges and problems, to be okay with what has happened so far and be willing to learn from it and keep moving on. Problems exist to be solved and they have to be solved. Running away from them would only keep them piling up over your shoulders until one day they get you down with all their weight. Solve problems and if you get them wrong, just go back and see what you did wrong and get ahead with it. The approach that's wrong is to fuss over your problems, or to keep thinking about them. The problem can be complicated by thinking about it and not taking some action to solve it which would gradually show you a way out. 

Make this slight change in your perspective now. What are the problems you are facing right now? How do you view them? Are some problems holding you back? Are they affecting you? Are you running away from them or keeping them on the back burner? Open your doors and welcome all the problems you have in your life. Do not see them negatively but opportunities to build you up. Don't think about your past and spend time regretting things. Act in the present. See what you can do now to improve things further. Don't think how things have been, but think about how things can now become. When you will begin to see your problems differently, you will begin to enjoy having problems in a good way.

Whenever you find yourself overthinking about your problem or thinking about how things could have been better, ask yourself this: "Will thinking about this right now change or improve things?" if the answer to that is a 'No' then proceed to ask yourself, "What can I do now to improve this situation?" and get working.

The only reason our problems dominate us and make our lives difficult is that we allow them to. What we do wrong is deny, run or fuss over our problems when all we needed to do was to get into action and solve them. The human brain is a problem-solving device. If you don't feed it problems to solve, then it begins to create problems which didn't exist in the first place. So, all the problems that life already tosses your way feed them to your brain and let it solve and reward you with a happy, positive and a better life. 

And as goes my favourite analogy for life—it's a roller coaster ride meant to be enjoyed and something which makes it so much fun is the high speed, the twists and turns, the ups and downs. Of course, if it would have been any different, it would have become boring and avoidable. Imagine a roller-coaster ride without any twists and turns or even the high speed—utterly boring. The same is with life. Just as a roller-coaster has, we also need speed in our lives. We can't stop anywhere or slow down at ups or downs—that's what makes us think that living sucks. And just as we enjoy all the ups and downs, twists and turns of a roller-coaster ride, we should also enjoy all the ups and downs and problems of our life. Always speeding past them and not holding onto them because life is indeed one hell of a unique ride and is different for everyone. While you are fortunate to, enjoy your ride and all the fun elements in it at full speed!