Not giving up, perhaps, has its own benefits. Things finally seem to be going north again. Now, the only thing to complain about is the excessive microsleeping during the early hours and in general, being blank about what to do with the extra time I have. And the problem often isn't about filling time with something, I have plenty of things I can do and even more that I will never run out of, but having things I can do without passing out, and that's where the challenge lies. In general, my midnights are a lot bearable and one may even put, average. Early mornings have now become gruelling. I wonder if I have managed to somehow just shift the graveyard hours ahead. Dealing with the graveyard hours during the night was better, as it was a transition from being fully awake to going zombie mode but early morning graveyard hours are like going from drowsy to going, zombie. You combat the entire night and run out of things, your willpower is already exhausted and then the early morning comes to have its share and you have barely an ounce of struggle left within you. During the last two days, I've managed to microsleep, sometimes for as long as, I guess, 2 hours and it is still better than the 5 hours I was oversleeping for previously. I am uncertain about the 2 hours because getting an accurate estimate is extremely difficult. During the mornings, my consciousness is so under the standard that I could, well, be a dead body. I keep popping in and out of existence without having any concept or perception of time. When finally I remotely resemble a human mentally, I check the time and realize that I've involuntarily camped some sleep in. I am surprised though how I keep waking up after certain intervals and do not pass just pass out and wake up hours later. I suspect that I may be napping, passing out for approximately 20 minutes and waking up out of habit, only to pass out again due to the sleep debt. And when I finally wake up from the consecutive naps, I check my phone and realize that it's been more than a few minutes. And because I barely recall anything, I calculate the time overslept by taking the last nap as the reference. So I may be oversleeping for less than 2 hours but it's a better estimate than taking a lower than the actual value. To gain more clarity regarding this, I have decided to maintain time logs during the early morning. I will be checking the time every once in a while and noting it down. So, if I check only to find that the last entry was more than half an hour back, then I can assume that I was micro sleeping. It will hopefully help me better understand and cope with this behaviour. Tomorrow, I have also planned some activities to keep myself busy so let's see how it unfolds.
After lunch, my awareness begins shooting up and things keep getting better. My energy levels and mental clarity are the best during this time and may even be better than when I was on a monophasic routine. Another good sign of progress is the 4 pm nap, during which I dreamt, now for two days in a row. The naps have improved to the point that I am able to dream as well as recall them. I'm getting closer to an adaptation! After the 4pm nap, things are awesome, even through the 8 pm nap. I have also started waking up from naps before my alarm goes off, and when that happens, I feel more rested and fresh. It happens after the 4 pm, 8 pm and 12 am naps quite often. It is then just the morning hours which are troublesome and I feel the nights are just gonna go uphill from now. With that in mind, I have decided to resume a normal schedule from tomorrow, in the sense, adding the usual things back into my routine which I had subtracted to make adaptation easier.
Through the last 10 days, my opinion regarding the routine has changed a lot. It just seems a lot more practical and doable now. Those who think it to be a crazy idea or a bad 'choice' only think so as all of this just goes against something you've done each day for a third of your life so far and is super unconventional, it takes all you know about sleeping and forces you to flush it down the toilet. No matter how impossible or painful the adaptation, it could just work as is claimed.
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